My wife and I
It was the arguments between husband and wife that remined me
of my marriage's worse moments.
The stress between caretaker and disease victim is very high.
Arguments don't make the stress better.
Watching the movie, Ordinary Love, I would yell at Liam Neessom for getting very angry at his wife when she was so sick.
His sick wife would remain Liam that she was the one who had a mastectomy, that she was the one in pain, that she was the one taking chemo and may die. In the heat of the argument her argument didn't calm Liam down.
With Alzheimer's it is often said the patient doesn't suffer, it's the caretaker family that does.
In later stages of AZ a patient can get aggitated and feel bad. The person does not disappear immediately. That's why families are told not to keep telling the patient when they are wrong thinking some friends and family members are still alive and why haven't they visited. Just tell the patient we will talk about it later.
I seem to have only mild cognitive impairment, but my wife and I will go down the rabbit hole of anger building over a trivial item that should be nipped in the bud immediately.
I pull the rubber band as a signal to not engage.
It doesn't always work.
I am very sensitive in my present condition and the stress will cause me to fall into anxiety and depression.
Driving with my wife often develops into arguments.
I try to avoid going on short trips in the car with her.
My wife this week drove us 1400 miles and we had no major arguments. I was engrossed in an audio novel by Stephen King for the whole trip and tried not to comment on her driving.
Alzheimers is a terminal disease without a cure.
Fortunately none of the physical pain with Breast cancer that is well depicted in the movie by actress Lesley Manville does not occur with Alzheimer patients. Of course at some point AZ patient stops eating and taking fluids in. I suspect that can be painful especially if patient gets dehydrated. Feeding tube and IV's have their own risks and complications.
She was cured of her cancer after a long couse of chemotherapy.
So far I don't have that option.
I am taking more than 20 pills which requires some true grit.
I'm sure not as much that is required to continue cancer chemo.
The strain on the caregivers is very similar.
Some of it self caused by expecting too much from the ill patient and not being patient with the sick one.
Yes the caretaker is stressed out and eventually acts out.
This is why there are nursing homes,
Caretakers can't do the care 24/7
Carertakers, please be kind to the patient.
Speak softly, no raised voices.
If you can't be kind please take a break.
The movie also has humorous moments.
There is an Irish charm of the spouses kidding each other.
My wife and identified with that fun banter as well.
