Wednesday, April 29, 2020

Ad Astra

I watched the movie Ad Astra with Brad Pitt.

I am a science fiction fan and loved the movie.


I am definitely going through the hardship of Alzheimers. 
I hope I reach the stars by continuing  my yearly account of AZ in my books to help other people understand from a
first person narrative the progression of AZ in my particular case.  

I liked the computer psychological evaluations of the astronaut.

He talks about being angry.
It keeps him separated from other people and prevents intimacy.
I worry about this as well as I have a
 hair trigger with anger  and with Alzheimer’s.

In general I notice more cognitive disfunction. 
It took me several tries to transpose the spelling of Norfolk today.
I would look at the correct spelling and then try to write it out on my computer one second later.  It didn't stay with me. 
  I wrote blog on when forgot how to spell "yes":
Jan 15, 2020 link

I thought this was just a transient problem and thanks to spell checker I can write my blogs, twitter and my books.

I can type and when I lose that ability I will be sad.

Can my decline be due to my concussion?  
I  hit on my head  Jan 29, 2020
Post concussion syndrome  link


 

I think the concussion worsened my anger issues. 
Depression can always be a cause for decline of mentation. 

I did have worsening of depression after the concussion.
I increased my anti-depressant with Citalopram and I only get depressed after my anger gets out of control. 
Clearly all my other meds have not prevented my decline. 

My "antidote" link




I get very frustrated and angry with my wife when we going over our bills.  

I have been buying many DVD's on Amazon.  
We are stuck at home with COVID-19 and we watch a movie a day. She thinks it is too much money and wants to check the order list to see if we are getting overcharged.
We are well off financially and I made us money recently stock market. 
"Buy low sell high" J P Morgan link

However two weeks ago we went over the Amazon bill in detail. 
It was very difficult to match my orders with her credit card bill.
The amounts would be a little different and the credit date was a day or two off from the purchase date.
I would make mistakes and she would get angry.
I would feel hurt and get angry and it would escalate exponentially.
The event left me angry and depressed for the rest of the day.
Thanks goodness I have resumed wine.

We gave it a shot again yesterday.
I said I would not do it.
I said highlight the ones that seem wrong to you and I will discuss them with you.
We got through it but still there was an amount of anger that could have been avoided if she wasn't so negative amount it with me.

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