My personality changes with Alzheimers.

My personality changes with Alzheimers. 

I was the youngest son in a family of 3 sons.
My Dad was military and as 'WASPS'  we were brought up to not be emotional. 

At home as the 'baby' I was the most ebullient and talkative. 

Outside home,  socially I was an introvert although I had a group of male friends in grammar school.  

Only one friend in  Stuyvesant High School. 

Still only same friend in Brooklyn College. 

Becoming a Doctor and dealing with patients it was not difficult to talk on one to one basis in role of physician.

I never went to bars or partied. 

In my 60's on cruises with alcohol beverage package I learned to love being a barfly and socializing with everyone on the cruise (not back home).


Loved the movie:



I always had the Brooklyn pugnaciousness when confronted by bullies or liars. 

I will never forget Al Pacino saying in movie below,

AL to policeman at hostage negotiation:
"Kiss me"
Police man: "What?"

Al:
"When I am being fu-ked I like to be kissed."

A softer version I learned later was:

"Don't tell me it's raining when you are peeing on my leg"

Thus I was always passionate and intense at times.

I was told I was obstinate and at times too strong in my forceful responses.

However I was NEVER quick to anger. (that is gone now with AZ)

My family/marriage therapist said I wound internalize conflict or problems and not show emotions while I used rationality to work them out.

Now with Alzheimers I am different.

I laugh at myself because as a fast talking New Yorker I would always interrupt people in conversations as I knew what they were going to say and responded too early before the person could complete the thought.


Now one of the things that irritates me the most with Alzheimers is when I am asking a question (especially on the phone) and the other person interrupts me.

If I get interrupted now, I often lose the thread of the conversation.

Recent example:

Bully at the over 80's hot tube mens group.

March 18 ,2020

Time 5:30 PM

I joined the 3 o’clock hot tub group. 

I stopped sitting in the tub because of COVID-19.

I pulled over a pool chair as I have done before. 

The men started to raze me goodheartedly about not being 6 feet away.

I replied “it’s okay, I brought my tape measure.”

We went on to a spirited and good conversation mostly about COVID-19

One man said he was surprised the liquor stores shelves  were not empty.

I said I was counting on my liquor cabinet to feed me when food ran out.

Then the situation became more dire when I stopped all alcohol 5 days ago. I went on to explain why I did it.

Then out of the blue (literally he was in the swimming pool next to us pool), Dick says didn't I try to stop  drinking before one year ago.

I turned Dick and said you don’t know what you are talking about. 

He insisted he remembers me trying to stop a year ago. 

I said he might refer me stopping alcohol for 2 weeks while I was taking an antibiotic that has a reaction to alcohol. 

Then Dick says oh, it was two years ago.

Dick I said I have not tried ever to completely stop drinking alcohol.   

Dick I know you think you are being funny distracting from more serious subjects.

I had just told a new guy in the tub that I have Alzeimer's. 

I have announced it many times in the hot tub with Dick present. 

I then told him I don’t think you should play with me pressing my buttons when you know my disease.

Dick asks sincerely what disease is that? 

I told him I have Alzheimers. 

Dick asks in a surprised voice “You have Alzheimer’s?

I angrily left the hot tub.

I have thought about how to approach this in the future. 

If Dick does this again I will try to remain calm and 

say:

Dick you know I have Alzheimers and I don’t think it is nice of you to take me down a rabbit hole just because you can.

I will try to do this. 

I considered making an official complaint to the Board just to add to a list of complaint that might already be there. He is chairman of the board of the condo. 

I have not sent the letter in.

I don't want to make enemies.


The next day after walking the beach and washing my feet he came over and said hi.
I softly said I was fine and turned away as he was two feet in from of my face.
Not the social distance of 6 feet with COVID-6.